I am going into one of my stories again today brought about by life happenings.
I went for a birthday the previous week end and just before the celebration started there were this two little boys who were in the house with the host of the party and i had met them also the last time i came there. I then asked the party host where their mother was and she said their mother has left their father due to some differences and the children were now being left alone with their dad who went to work and came to pick them from her house when he was back from work meanwhile until he could find an another arrangement for the kids. As they ate one of the kids walked up to me and said “Auntie, i can’t eat this food, it’s too hot” i said “drink water” He then went back to his meal and managed to eat. My heart went out to this poor little child who woke up one morning to see his mother no more. Who simply had to get used to mum not being around and just try to live the life until all he remembers of her are some faint faded memories that grows fainter until he becomes a man and moves on with his life and then this thought arose……. To stay or no to stay?
Sometimes, Marriage is not all what we we read and dream about. Bad things happen! People change! A simple and good gentle man turns into a drunk and a wife beater and struggles with depression as he loses his job and he becomes different from the man you once knew and each night you lay all night wetting your pillow and lay hopeful that he might change with more prayers, fasting and even more patience on your part.
To stay or not to stay? Especially in the times when this man becomes a tyrant and not the man you used to know. He beats the hell out of your life and you carry black circles round your eyes day in day out like a school uniform until you wonder if you will come out of this marriage alive or not.
I have decided to pose this question to every one of you so as to hear your point of view on this issue because when two elephants fight it is indeed the grass that suffers and in this case “the children”. Should the woman then stay and manage just because of the children instead of them to wander about like sheep without shepherd or bear the thought of another woman manhandling her own kids and not taking care of them as she ever would. It’s a tough decision to make and without being in that situation myself when i look into the picture it is so hazy and difficult a very , very tough choice to make. It is so much easier with you not being in the picture and all you need to do is chirp in your own two cents on the issue.
If it is even the Nigerian situation like in my own place where as your dowry is been paid, you are told you have no room in your father’s house anymore and in other words, through hard times and low times, you are expected to be there with your husband and i do not have a problem with that as much as i have a problem with maltreating your wife and slaving her. Even the bible is not in support of divorce so what does a woman do when she is in forefront of this battle that she’s so terribly losing and might even lose her mind with it depending on the degree of violence that she’s made to face as some are going through life’s version of hell. It’s a sorry sight!
I need your opinions on this please!
I’m outta here……………..XX